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:iconxxforgottenfailurexx:

~XxForgottenFailurexX

The Unfortunate Mindless Undone
About Me Member Procrastinator XxForgottenFailurexXFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Big Ben, Bums, and Break Ups

Change. {Reconscruction Time}

Wed Nov 26, 2008, 10:29 PM
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: Fairytale by Blue October
  • Reading: FREAKS and Hitchhiker's guide
  • Watching: the world in motion
  • Playing: with the gears in my mind
  • Eating: like a rabbit... xD
  • Drinking: leftover water bottles

"Give me strength to be kind.
To combine all the good things in life
that are so hard to find...

You give me a quiet mind
and I... I love you
You give me a quiet mind
and I- I LOVE YOU
Until the end ..."
-Blue October


25 November 2008
TUESDAY

Officially one of the most important days of my life and I will never allow myself to forget it. It is why I am choosing to document it here.

It is why I am choosing at all.

You know, for a while I was really close to losing who I was. It was more that I remembered being so sure of myself last year.

I knew my name, I knew what I believed in.
I knew who I loved, who deserved forgiveness and who didn't.

But these recent months have been like quicksand. One second I believed I stood on solid ground and the next it just fell out beneath me. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe- I just knew I was immersed and had to get out of it somehow, someway.

Who was I and why did I have these idiotic beliefs?
Why did I love these people who didn't love me?
Did I have the right to forgive people when I myself needed to be forgiven?

Tuesday was my downfall and Tuesday was my resurrection. I have never been so humbled, ever felt so human in my entire life. This is the truth.
And I can truly say that I have never felt

more deeply loved

than I had when I fell down on the drive way pavement. Never ever ever. Ever felt more loved.

And I confessed all of this that I am confessing now.

Childish, weak,
Trite and Cheap

but they love me
for me.

But I have never been more happy of it.

And now that this is over and everything that was destroying me has released itself, I know can move forward.

And as far as change, that may happen,
BUT
I am going to strive
and I am going to fight
to continue being who I am.

Soon I'm going to pick up all the pieces and put them back together and not need any glue or tape.
It won't be a facade this time or frail logic keeping me together.

This time it will be real
and genuine
and maybe, just maybe...
stronger.

So for the first time I leave off to bed
with a completely quiet mind for the first time in months. I have two people to thank for that.

And as for now, that is what I am giving thanks for.

To them
and all those
who save me
time and time again.
For I love you
Until the end.

:heart:
Happy Thanksgiving.





------------------------------------------------

Dear everyone,
I'd like to admit that I have been completely inactive lately. I haven't replied to comments from even the people I love the most-
That means you, Kate.
Tasuki, my bandytt, Cheeky, so many others... I'm sorry.
I have failed you, but I'm not going to sit here on my end of the computer and make excuses for it.
HOWEVER, though I'm not sure what is wrong with me recently, I'm going to change this. I refuse to stay in this crazy funkitated stage that I'm in. No matter what, I think of about you guys all the time.
It's just that sophmore slump you get into. The world looks so big and you feel so useless, even though you know you aren't. I feel like I'm on the verge of something crucial, and until I'm strong enough to leap off the edge I'm going to stand here,
right here,
knowing that you all love me despite my reluctance.
Thank you all so much.
I love you.
-Lori
---------------------------------------------------
I'm changing.
I'm not sure if it's for the better
or for the worst.
At any rate, I'm deleting the majority of my gallery
for they no longer portray who I am as an artist.
I am also considering giving up this account,
especially the name.

I need to search for myself again,
and I'm going to find me,
wherever I am.

For lack of a way to better express myself
thank you for reading.
-lori

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: 6 miles past Earth's orbit & take a left at Saturn. You'll find it.
  • Interests: I love art (as if this didn't give it all away), poetry, & just wierd stuff. glowing socks
  • Favourite movie: Too many... but I like epics and comedies (real nerd here, LOTR, POTC, etc.)
  • Favourite band or musician: Shiny Toy Guns, GOO GOO DOLLS, The Shins, At the Drive In, Get Up Kids
  • Favourite genre of music: Indie Rock, Emotive, Underground Techno, 80's rock
  • Favourite artist: Just... Artist? Myehehe, I guess... DaVinci, he's a little cracked.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Markus Zusak & Jerry Spinelli
  • Favourite game: Kingdom Hearts (all), OKAY rpg games in general, DARK CLOUD, sims stoof
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: I make alot of my own, but... eh... yeah, lets leave it at that.
  • Personal Quote: "When life gives you lemons, make chocolate milk."

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Comments


when are you going to post something new?
Oh Lovie!! I haven't heard from you in forever!!!! :cry:
This is lunakin's new account.
I doubt if you even remember me, but I've missed you, Wacko Jacko
Stay cool
(:

--
Lets get away. . . just for one day.
Thanks for the favourite!

--
I advise you to comply, my instructions should be clear,
Remember there are worse things than a shattered chandelier ...
no problem, man.

--
:pride: Love and Let Love :pride:
:heart: Proud member of DeadLegions [link]
:heart: Proud member of TLC [link] & LGBTPrideandVoices [link]
hey this is collin...this is my new profile, ValkyrieCDH...i am leaving my other one. I want to start fresh on artwork and other such things so.


hey would you likeths to be apart of the GSA (gay straight alliance)? its at our school, the next meeting is feb. 10 at 7 pm. in the black box, which is the maroon double doors right next to the theatre room, everything is black inside. XD
Thanks for fav ^^
:hug:

--
Sing once again with me, our strange duet!
Thanks for the fav!!! :D

--
I am a vegetable
I get my body badly pulled
And I'm rooted to the spot
Nothing will rearrange me

Pete Townshend
Thanks for the fav!

==
:camera: :memento mori: :frail:

:iconphotographyclub::iconindiephotographyclub::iconphotolovers:
Thank-you for the fav!

--
:pride:Waiting for my dyke in shining armor :pride:

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