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~XxForgottenFailurexX

The Unfortunate Mindless Undone
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About Me Member Procrastinator XxForgottenFailurexXFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 24 Deviations
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The Un-Daydreamed III and IVPART III:   
Thursday would be the office Christmas party. We would have a small get-together at Birraporetti’s for Jack’s birthday. Jack stated this bluntly as he put up a new poster in the window for our upcoming Canon Christmas Sale. He wasn’t going to ask. The risk of rejection was blatantly ridiculous.  
 
“No shots or table dancing,” he said as he shook a finger at us, “not this time.”   
The whole crew knew he was lying.  
 
Jack Trejos, My Manager, is not a man of any particularly interesting light. His chronic disapproval is merely a professional way of encour The Un-Daydreamed III and IV
by ~XxForgottenFailurexX
Big Ben Cries Too                  There are times still when I watch the world spin,                           Frame by frame, the colors blur and blend                           And I stand motionless as it tilts to the top                & Big Ben Cries Too
by ~XxForgottenFailurexX
The Pocket: My Moonman                                                The Moonman   
Sometimes waxing, sometimes waning,  Sometimes he just disappears into the black,  But he's always there:  
all day, all night,  Even if I never see him.  Or so I believe.   
At one time I almost touched his surface  From my window pane.  And more than ever  I believed.   
I b The Pocket: My Moonman
by ~XxForgottenFailurexX
The PocketIt really looks like any ordinary pocket. Leather. Silk inside. All day it hugs the messenger bag it’s stitched against; hugs it like a little baby boy,   
arms all stretched out, ready to love the whole world  that could never  ever  
fit into his tiny arm span.  But he does it anyway.  
 
That’s how this pocket sits.   
And it keeps sitting there and it keeps sitting there, sleeping all the way to my classes. I open all my other pockets for pencils, for erasers, for binders and pens, but not that one pocket. It looks up at me with its invisible little boy eyes, whispers  
&nbs The Pocket
by ~XxForgottenFailurexX
Big Ben, Bums, and Break Ups
Browse Gallery

Change. {Reconscruction Time}

Wed Nov 26, 2008, 9:29 PM
  • Mood: Excited
  • Listening to: Fairytale by Blue October
  • Reading: FREAKS and Hitchhiker's guide
  • Watching: the world in motion
  • Playing: with the gears in my mind
  • Eating: like a rabbit... xD
  • Drinking: leftover water bottles

"Give me strength to be kind.
To combine all the good things in life
that are so hard to find...

You give me a quiet mind
and I... I love you
You give me a quiet mind
and I- I LOVE YOU
Until the end ..."
-Blue October

25 November 2008
TUESDAY

Officially one of the most important days of my life and I will never allow myself to forget it. It is why I am choosing to document it here.

It is why I am choosing at all.

You know, for a while I was really close to losing who I was. It was more that I remembered being so sure of myself last year.

I knew my name, I knew what I believed in.
I knew who I loved, who deserved forgiveness and who didn't.

But these recent months have been like quicksand. One second I believed I stood on solid ground and the next it just fell out beneath me. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe- I just knew I was immersed and had to get out of it somehow, someway.

Who was I and why did I have these idiotic beliefs?
Why did I love these people who didn't love me?
Did I have the right to forgive people when I myself needed to be forgiven?

Tuesday was my downfall and Tuesday was my resurrection. I have never been so humbled, ever felt so human in my entire life. This is the truth.
And I can truly say that I have never felt

more deeply loved

than I had when I fell down on the drive way pavement. Never ever ever. Ever felt more loved.

And I confessed all of this that I am confessing now.

Childish, weak,
Trite and Cheap

but they love me
for me.

But I have never been more happy of it.

And now that this is over and everything that was destroying me has released itself, I know can move forward.

And as far as change, that may happen,
BUT
I am going to strive
and I am going to fight
to continue being who I am.

Soon I'm going to pick up all the pieces and put them back together and not need any glue or tape.
It won't be a facade this time or frail logic keeping me together.

This time it will be real
and genuine
and maybe, just maybe...
stronger.

So for the first time I leave off to bed
with a completely quiet mind for the first time in months. I have two people to thank for that.

And as for now, that is what I am giving thanks for.

To them
and all those
who save me
time and time again.
For I love you
Until the end.

:heart:
Happy Thanksgiving.





------------------------------------------------

Dear everyone,
I'd like to admit that I have been completely inactive lately. I haven't replied to comments from even the people I love the most-
That means you, Kate.
Tasuki, my bandytt, Cheeky, so many others... I'm sorry.
I have failed you, but I'm not going to sit here on my end of the computer and make excuses for it.
HOWEVER, though I'm not sure what is wrong with me recently, I'm going to change this. I refuse to stay in this crazy funkitated stage that I'm in. No matter what, I think of about you guys all the time.
It's just that sophmore slump you get into. The world looks so big and you feel so useless, even though you know you aren't. I feel like I'm on the verge of something crucial, and until I'm strong enough to leap off the edge I'm going to stand here,
right here,
knowing that you all love me despite my reluctance.
Thank you all so much.
I love you.
-Lori
---------------------------------------------------
I'm changing.
I'm not sure if it's for the better
or for the worst.
At any rate, I'm deleting the majority of my gallery
for they no longer portray who I am as an artist.
I am also considering giving up this account,
especially the name.

I need to search for myself again,
and I'm going to find me,
wherever I am.

For lack of a way to better express myself
thank you for reading.
-lori

17 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: 6 miles past Earth's orbit & take a left at Saturn. You'll find it.
  • Interests: I love art (as if this didn't give it all away), poetry, & just wierd stuff. glowing socks
  • Favourite movie: Too many... but I like epics and comedies (real nerd here, LOTR, POTC, etc.)
  • Favourite band or musician: Shiny Toy Guns, GOO GOO DOLLS, The Shins, At the Drive In, Get Up Kids
  • Favourite genre of music: Indie Rock, Emotive, Underground Techno, 80's rock
  • Favourite artist: Just... Artist? Myehehe, I guess... DaVinci, he's a little cracked.
  • Favourite poet or writer: Markus Zusak & Jerry Spinelli
  • Favourite game: Kingdom Hearts (all), OKAY rpg games in general, DARK CLOUD, sims stoof
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: I make alot of my own, but... eh... yeah, lets leave it at that.
  • Personal Quote: "When life gives you lemons, make chocolate milk."

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Comments


:iconlesumai:
~lesumai Oct 7, 2009, 12:16:08 PM
I miss you.

--
PHOTOS: NOT FOR LICKING.
FILING CABINETS: NOT FOR LICKING.
ARMS: NOT FOR LICKING.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: NOT FOR LICKING.
COMPUTER MONITORS: NOT FOR LICKING.
LIVE ARTILLERY: NOT FOR LICKING.
DAVID BOWIE: ...FOR LICKING.
:iconlesumai:
~lesumai Aug 6, 2009, 9:02:30 PM
:B
Hey freaktoes. How are you? You need to update your journal or something! Let people know you haven't killed yourself! D:

Guess what song I have stuck in my head? "Magic Dance", from Labyrinth. Oh, the memories!
Have you taken Driver's Ed yet? I've got my permit... but I haven't finished the class yet. I can drive, though! Pretty well, too. But I'm averse to left turns... >_>
Read any good books, lately? I'm rereading Eragon, so that I can start Eldest. :P I'm just now realizing how many plotholes are in that book! It's almost laughable, but I still enjoy it. Sometimes it's nice to just let things not make sense. Like this picture. [link]
How is Mimo? How old is he now? Does he go to school? Is he pwnage incarnate? How is Ricky? Still Asian?
Nell is... 11, I think? I dunno. I still think she's 8 all the time. :B I told you she had her appendix removed, right? I think I did. We have pictures from inside her body! :D You can see her ovaries. lawl.
What classes are you taking next year? I bet all your electives are cool/fun. I hope they are, anyway! I'm taking a whole bunch of AP classes... D: And Anatomy & Physiology, and Orchestra, of course, which I'm starting to hate, but I need to stay in because colleges like that sort of thing. ARGHHHH I hate thinking about colleges. I think you told me you already knew which college you were going to... an art school, right? That sounds awesome. Deep down, I really want to go to an art school, but I think I'm not good enough to compete with all you fantastic people, and besides, cutting people's skulls open and operating on their brain seems like just as much fun (if not harder work D: )!
I'm going to a black-and-white themed masquerade party tomorrow! I'm making my own mask... I've got to finish it tomorrow before the party. It's pretty radical at the moment, but too simple for my tastes. >8D So I'm going to spiff it up with some pearls and lace and stuff... I've just got to figure out a way to glue it on without gluing down my fingers and stuff.

Anyways, I just wondered how you were doing. I hope everything's great with you and your family, and I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU SOOOON! (Even if soon is just "within the year")
Write back!

-Kateth

--
PHOTOS: NOT FOR LICKING.
FILING CABINETS: NOT FOR LICKING.
ARMS: NOT FOR LICKING.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: NOT FOR LICKING.
COMPUTER MONITORS: NOT FOR LICKING.
LIVE ARTILLERY: NOT FOR LICKING.
DAVID BOWIE: ...FOR LICKING.
:iconakithedemigod:
~AkiTheDemigod Jul 17, 2009, 10:40:16 PM
Your poetic words move me. :heart:
Don't know if you remember me, but I hope you're doing well. :hug:

--
It is not The Coffee Shop; it is A Coffee Shop...
:iconburningcanadians:
~BurningCanadians Jul 5, 2009, 9:24:44 PM
when are you going to post something new?
:iconooredwineoo:
~oORedWineOo Jun 28, 2009, 8:38:31 PM
Oh Lovie!! I haven't heard from you in forever!!!! :cry:
This is lunakin's new account.
I doubt if you even remember me, but I've missed you, Wacko Jacko
Stay cool
(:

--
I need to feel you again, I need your lips on my skin. For one night I could be him. . .
:iconxequiem:
~xequiem May 6, 2009, 6:05:07 PM
Thanks for the favourite!

--
tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
:iconxxforgottenfailurexx:
~XxForgottenFailurexX May 6, 2009, 6:08:51 PM
no problem, man.

--
:pride: Love and Let Love :pride:
:heart: Proud member of DeadLegions [link]
:heart: Proud member of TLC [link] & LGBTPrideandVoices [link]
:iconvalkyriecdh:
~ValkyrieCDH Jan 29, 2009, 7:21:44 AM
hey this is collin...this is my new profile, ValkyrieCDH...i am leaving my other one. I want to start fresh on artwork and other such things so.


hey would you likeths to be apart of the GSA (gay straight alliance)? its at our school, the next meeting is feb. 10 at 7 pm. in the black box, which is the maroon double doors right next to the theatre room, everything is black inside. XD
:iconwerdandi:
*Werdandi Jan 28, 2009, 1:18:35 PM
Thanks for fav ^^
:iconlunakins16:
~lunakins16 Jan 26, 2009, 3:12:31 PM
:hug:

--
Sing once again with me, our strange duet!
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